Learning to Walk

As my kidneys healed it became apparent there was something else wrong with me. Something rare. Something it took a long time for the Drs to diagnose. I had a condition called Rhabdomylosis. It happens when the skeletal muscle breaks down as a result of both acute renal failure and being crushed. It's extremely rare…

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The ICU Aftermath 

The High Dependency Unit was awful. Still bed bound I was parked next to a wall and I stayed there for two days.  The nurses didn't care. Well; they didn't care about the teenager in the corner who had deliberately taken a drug overdose. If I rang the bell for assistance they would take their…

Intensive Care

After I was sedated I was moved to the intensive care unit. I couldn't breathe by myself so I was on a ventilator. Aswell as having a machine breathe for me I had tubes placed inside me near to my collar bone so that they could administer medication through (a C line). Next to here…

And They Found You on the Bathroom Floor

Apparently Dr M thought I was making a lot of progress in the unit. I'd clearly said the right thing during the dreaded Ward Round on a Thursday morning. They wanted to send me home; discharge me from being an impatient... And I was terrified. They agreed to let me have one whole week of…

The Psych Ward

As I said S and I became friends. As much as you could become friends with someone when you are both mentally ill. He told me that if you take enough Zopiclone (sleeping tablets) at once that you got high. So I started requesting the meds at night time; tonguing them (not swallowing and keeping…

Admission to Psych

After the suicide attempt I was watched for 24 hours on a ward in the general hospital, before being assessed by a psychiatrist. The shrink was a female; not Dr M. She wanted to send me home. She didn't understand that I couldn't go home. I had lived in the same house all my life…

Boulevard of Broken Dreams

It's towards the end of 2004 and I am 19 years old. I have been diagnosed with moderate depression and I am currently trialling my second lot of antidepressants. The first ones, Escitalopram made me shaky all the time. I couldn't keep still and the nausea was something else. The second ones, Venlafaxine seem to…

Over Time 

C, my husband has a job which basically takes over all of our lives. The nature of his work means he has to go away quite often; sometimes overseas to countries which you would probably never consider visiting yourself. We live over 100 miles away from "home" where I grew up and most of my…

Bipolar Two

I was diagnosed with Bipolar Two earlier in the year. Despite my history with mental health issues, this came as quite a surprise. I was tired. So so so tired. I had every blood test going for thyroid, iron levels, kidney and liver function etc etc. They all came back clear. Seemingly there was nothing…