This is my blog. It’s a blog about when everything seems perfect on the outside but inside it is far from it.

I am a female in my early thirties. I have a husband whom I met at 19 and married 5 years ago. Together we have two boys; D is 6 and J is 4. And lets not forget B. B is a very  small, annoying dog who is almost 4! We all live together in the countryside and are moving to the coast next month. My husband, C works very hard; meaning I have been able to take time away from work to raise our children.

And what a wonderful life that sounds like 😊

But in reality it is far from it…

I haven’t been happy in my marriage for a long time. My husband doesn’t even notice me. He spends (ALL OF!) his free time playing a dinosaur game online with his “tribe members”… which are people whom he has never met. He would rather spend his time with them than with us.

Why don’t you just tell him?” I hear you ask… believe me I have! I have “discussed” this with him until I am blue in the face. It’s pointless. I’m beginning to wonder if he is actually addicted to his computer.

D our eldest has additional needs. We don’t even really know what we are dealing with. I have to fight for him every step of the way. Be it more support in school or trying to get the professionals to see what I see.

J his younger brother is the complete opposite. He is outgoing, sociable and a little sh!t!!! 😂

Then we get onto me. I have suffered from mental health problems for as long as I can remember. Depression, self- harm, suicide attempts, drug abuse, hypomania, risky behaviour. I’ve suffered with it all. Right now my diagnosis is Bipolar 2 (more on that at a later date).

And this my friends is my perfect life…



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