After I was sedated I was moved to the intensive care unit. I couldn’t breathe by myself so I was on a ventilator. Aswell as having a machine breathe for me I had tubes placed inside me near to my collar bone so that they could administer medication through (a C line). Next to here I also had dialysis to flush my kidneys with the bad stuff and give them the good stuff. Usually this would be placed in the thigh, but at this point it wasn’t possible. In my wrist I had an A line which made it easier for the Drs and nurses to check my vital sats. I also needed a blood transfusion. This means that even now I am unable to donate blood.

I was being fed through a tube. The tube went all the way up my nose and down into my stomach. Feeding me liquidised food.

The side effect of the ventilator meant I contracted Pneumonia and my left lung collapsed. So I also had another cable under my armpit for a chest drain. To drain all the fluid from my lung. I still have the scars from all these lines they placed.

I couldn’t have been any more ill.

My best friend got the first train back from uni in Manchester. My Sister was living overseas with her husband and was put on the first flight back to the UK. 

I wasn’t expected to pull through.

But I did.

It took a while. Everytime they tried to bring me off the sedation I apparently got too excited so I had to be put back under. 

All in all I was completely under for five days. 

As a comparison; my Grandad who had passed away a few years previous was on ICU following a Cardiac Arrest. He spent three days there…

There was a problem with my legs. Which is why the Dr couldn’t put the kidney dialysis through it. At this point they didn’t know what they were dealing with.

As I was weaned off the sedation the first person I saw was Dr M. He had come over especially to see me. I was excited to see a familiar face; even if it was my Consultant Psychiatrist. He told me to calm down; “Rest assured, you are getting better and I will see you again soon”. He explained my physical health was the most important thing right now. My mental health wasn’t even considered. English wasn’t his first language and after I asked him what the date and time was, I fell back to sleep. 

Next in line was the parents. They bought my beloved WoWo. A teddy I have had since I was born. I breathlessly asked if they had any gossip before falling asleep. 

I next saw my Sister. So confused as to why she was there. I, again breathlessly joked about the cardigan she was wearing being from C&A. She said it was one of our Auntie’s and we shared a giggle.

It seems my sarcasm hadn’t failed along with my vital organs.

DL was next. I was so happy to see him. After the ventilator was removed, my throat was dry. So dry. I asked him for some water that was next to my bed. He was so attentive that he checked with the nurse first. I did not deserve him.

I saw my best friend, R as I was being wheeled out of Intensive Care to the High Dependancy Unit. At this point I had an oxygen mask on to help my lungs breathe. I told her I liked her coat and my step mother was so pleased that I had actually said something normal. I didn’t realise I said this inbetween breaths of oxygen and was struggling to talk.

The High Dependancy Unit was completely different. And I hated every second…



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